I just took a shit of pure concentrated evil. It smelled worse than snotty hooker pussy and i usually love the smell of my own shit. Dane Cook is a tool, his reality show 'TOURGASM' was not funny at all and exposed him for the turdbiscuit he really is. I look at the left over room service we destroyed this morning and there is no fucking way that made my shit smell so heinous. Maybe this has to do with when i decided to stuff a clump of coke claymation up my nose when it melted in my manny pack (I had to dig it out of my pubes). i'd carry a purse if it wasn't considered gay. all the good shorts don't come with pockets. douche-bags left me alone at the club with prude argentine bitch who's cockblock friend stared at me like i was an alien from planet Gonorrhea. After walking through the ghetto alone to try and get some sausage (no homo) i settled for what tasted like melted hotdog out of a formaldehyde jar. all this to come home and find out my friend had the privilege of fucking a squirter... she probably just pissed on his nuts. adios
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