We just want you all to know... especially you BITCHES (which yes refers to all women, except our moms) that we pledge to keep it as real as possible. This site is written by a collection of 10 of the gnarliest guys you've ever seen from both coasts. It is intended to provide advice to men on dealing with women, and advice to women on when to shut the fuck up and how to dress and how to groom your sausage wallets, etc... If you don't like what we say, suck the warts off Oren's dick, and bathe in our ball temperature jizz... no homo... no emo

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Two Years??????

what the fuck? i wanna know what the knights of the clown table have been up to. I'm in dire need of experiences beyond the OG vent on's. show me some motherfucking love and post some shit thatll make me laugh.

p

Sunday, October 4, 2009

AWKWARD IN BED

You know those girls that are just really awkward in bed?

cuz I do

I fucked one last night.

It didn't end well.

You get what you pay for...

She was free.

How I Should've salvaged it - 'face down ass up that's the way we like to fuck'

What I did wrong - my drunk ass made her ride me

How I made up for it - I came on her face and made her feel really awkward

How I could've sweetened the deal and made it even funnier - put a finger in her ass and make her say 'what are you doing?'

Thursday, July 30, 2009

About Your Teeth...

So I tried making out with you and you apparently had really bad breath, so I took a more in depth look and I noticed something:

Your teeth need some whitening strips, some sandblasting, and bitch you need some headgear.

I got over it though because who makes out for that long anyway, figured I'd cop dome, but at the 11th hour I remembered your paper shredder teeth and rejected my open invitation for you to give me mouth to south resuckitatoin (why is it always the girl with the paper shredder teeth that sucks dick all the time).

Then I was like fuck it, I've already invested all this time and grime, I might as well peel the pussy, (there's always one salvageable orifice) well then it hit me... If you can't take care of your regular smile, how you gonna take care of your vertical smile?
Apparently not very well cuz EW!

Moral of the story: If you don't take care of your teeth, you for sure have something!

Didn't wanna have to look at gross teeth so here's this pic instead:

Complexion Lesson

There are so many of you girls out there that are so good from far away but so far away from good.
Your T is good, Your A is good, Your F looks like there was a FF on it and you tried to put it out with a SD (your face looks like there was a forest fire on it and you tried to put it out with a screwdriver)
Get some proactive, some neutrogena, or better yet a heat gun to melt those puss-ey craters off your moonface.

Jizz is good for your skin so just get bukkakked and call me in a week.


Friday, March 20, 2009

COMING SOON!!!!!!!


ventonwierdosonsteroids/crackedouthookersonsmack.blogsot

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Misconceptions of Misogyny

Just because I use words like bitch, cunt, slut, whore-bag, cunt de quinté, twatsicle, meat wallet, wizard sleeve, slime tunnel and filthy syphilitic germ hole, and telling you you need belong cuntanomo bay, doesn't mean that I hate women. I love bitches! I LOVE BITCHES!

but if you want me to stop being a misogynist, then STOP SUCKING MY DICK ALL THE TIME!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Peaches en Gentalia

Sex has been around for like 500 years. Ever since the Renaissance, human beings have been having sexual intercourse with each other. So after all this copulation, mutual masturbation, kama sutra, butt play, german schizer porn, heatherideepthroat, Sting repping tantric sex, cum snorting, cum farting, "simulated" rape, and Madonna repping Kabala - - WHY AFTER THIS DO GIRLS STILL THINK THEY CAN SUCK MY BALLS LIKE A MALT STRAW?

DO NOT APPLY SUCTION! THERE'S A REASON THE JAPANESE NEVER FUCK OCTOPI IN THEIR WEIRD ASS SEA CUCUMBER PORN!