Should I Just Keep Your Bra on?

Let's face it, you got a good face, nice ass, some of the things you say are funny, your voice is kinda annoying but not off the charts bad... but bitch you got yourself a pair of Gorilla Tits!

It looks like there's a faucet under your tits, but instead of buyin water balloons you used regular ones.

They look like traffic cones that got left out in the sun and started to melt sideways.

Your nipples don't even fit in my mouth, what the fuck is your baby going to do... he's gunna need a fuckin giraffe neck and a boa constrictor jaw if he wants to survive.

I'm just sayin... it's weird, I feel like alien killer klowns are gunna bust outta your bosoms and eat my face

now i'm not sayin i'm not dtf, i'm just sayin, lets do it doggystyle or blindfold and handcuff me

Something please, i'll work with you, but keep those creepy problem child, bride of chucky twins away from me

I don't need to tittyfuck you I could use each tit as an individual fleshlight... weeeeeeeiiiiird

Vaginas... the New Napkins????

Yes ladies, it is true, I do not wash my hands before I fingerboss you. I'm out at the bars all night, exchanging money, giving high fives to really sleazy people, and probly even fingerbossing some other bitch. Do I think to wash my hands? no.

Don't act like you're some kind of fucking saint either, bitch, I've seen you suck my friends dick, suck my dick, then make out with some kid that sucks; thus mixing two types of baby batter into some poor soul's mouth.

Well I don't feel bad for that kid (cuz I have no conscience) and I don't feel bad for you either when you start growing coral out of your meat sleeve.

I'm all about the environment (obviously not about your pussy's ecosystem) so I'm not about to waste baby wipes, hot wing napkins, or purell, just so you can itch less and thus sleep better at night, get over yourself... you're not that hot... or maybe you are, but the only bitch I care about is Mother Earth, and I've already knife-raped her repeatedly.


THIS IS THE PETRI DISH YEAST CULTURE THAT IS YOUR VAGINA --- (she's bakin a loaf and it's sourdough)

Sagging For Girls

It is officially time to bring back low riser jeans and thongs sticking out the back. Frankie B's were the shit. I know it's not 8th grade anymore and you think it's trashy. But bitch you are trashy. Look at you. It almost makes me want to wear a condom with you... almost.

I fuckin love thongs sticking out the back of yo jeans, I can imagine what your ass looks like and I fuckin love it.

Don't give me that "they don't make short shirts anymore." Just lose all the weight u gained since 8th grade, let's face it your tits haven't grown and you haven't gotten taller. You won't look any trashier than you do mid-train. Who the fuck are you kidding?

Is it Worth It?

The answer, my friend, is no. No matter what's going through your head or which mouth your head is going through -- don't drive home with a .24 BAC. I know there's been talk of your jimmy dean nestling into a brand new juicy sausage wallet -- when the cop pulls you over and all you can do is laugh quietly and stumble...you're a goddamn idiot. The only cumshots in jail that night will be in you and you probably wont enjoy it.

go green
lose weight
invest in windpower
fuck you