Ode to Molly

Why Do I Love a Drug That Makes Girls Think I'm Impotent????

I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl. I will not take molly the first night I'm gunna fuck a girl.

Wait a second, bitch, that was your fault! - - I'm hard I'm ready to fuck, my super sweet playlist is playin, I only got the shaded lamp on, I'm holding in my farts... the mood is set.

And you - - you heartless bitch, you take a key full of molly and put it up to my nose after you just took one, you think I'm gunna turn down my favorite drug whilst hammered drunk and completely vulnerable to temptation and now peer pressured into something I already wanted to do???

I couldn't come in the morning or afternoon either, cuz you made me blow that shit right as we're going to bed and I'm rolling when I wake up.

Then the next night is a show, so of course I gotta roll that night, I only planned it for a month.

So I can't cum 2 days in a row. That doesn't mean I can't cum bitch, that means you need to stop being one of the Sirens from Homer's Odyssey.
Maybe it's not the molly tho, maybe your pussy has the sensation of fucking a wet plastic bag.

It's probably the molly.

God Damnit.

Delightfully Tacky, Yet Extremely Fuckable

In 1986, I was born. As was the timeless and ultimately classy brown owls uniform.

For the sake of this blog we will call the establishment TITS.

So, we're at TITS and I am wondering how is it that one pics up a TITS girl.

I mean, the manager seems easy, but his name is Jim, no homo.

I asked her how old she was, and she said 18, and I said that's legal.

"Her boobs were very mature for her age."

"Her ass was an old soul."

So, if I don't want to sit at TITS and tip bitches all night for no lap dance, I should probably just buy some thighs and breasts. Spread some man ranch on it.

So I decided to spray my high life on her like I just won the world series. This bitch called the Lord himself on his celly just to request a Flyers win. She was so hard up for a good tip.

"Just the tip.
Just for a second,
just to see how it feels."

I mean she had nice nipples. From the back she looked like another woman - a thirty year old that could teach you something. She didn't have goggles, and I suspect that tomorrow her eyes will be swollen as if I just consolidated my antique liquid assets in her face after a red eye flight and too much cocaine induced partying.

Side note: Jo Pah gets a lot of ass for an old man.






Almost as much as Bobby Bowden ( I mean really, he is the slave driver at the number 3 party school - and good Lord they have a lot of cum dumpsters), but not nearly as much as Bobby Knight. Bobby slams bitches on the regular. You have no idea, but you know bitches like assholes.






So as the night and my miller high life starts to dwindle I figure I better clown this bitch before she goes home to her tomatoes soup made from ketchup and hot water, a dirty towel, a lonely bird with its head severed, and some boy friend who is just that a boy with a bank account he didn't build. Surely he has some barb-wire somewhere on his body, hair product and shaved arms, but good Lord, I am man.

So I tell Ms. TITS that she would look good on my dick. Nuff said.

Neff said.

"Blessed is he who cometh in the name of the Lord."

-Newcomer

Hey! Wanna Kill Yourself?

first and foremost id like to thank all for reading. if you didnt, it actually wouldnt matter so get facefucked. im by no means a hater, but when you see that one dude you cant help but judge the shit out of him. i only know one kid who can roll with a breitling like its nothing and hes a goofy tall fuck that makes it allll work. back to the task at hand. ive never seen spiky hair work. surprise! it still doesnt. ive seen it all from girltight jeans to jnco "what the fuck are you thinking" zeppelin motherfuckers...he took the cake. short sleeve polo wearin silk tie, knotted. no homo.

I had to meet the kid to make sure he wasnt from prague or some stupid shit...american as they come. HOLY SHIT. I 9mmediately offered him a cosmo and asked him if hed like me to tie him a neuse right then and there.

do yourself a favor and offer the next man you see like this his very own suicide. its the only way to get to the point of how much you hate him. I swear its so easy.."hey, wanna kill yourself?"

Morning Mold

Have you ever woken up, gone to the bathroom, taken a jizzy piss and then all of a sudden your nose says: "hmmm something smells like tuna fish and masking tape" Then all of a sudden you realize "woah, thats my dick".

Did That Asian Midget Really Go Black Face?

Unless your a 14 year old boy stuck in an 80 year old mans sex dungeon, I'm pretty sure you are aware of the events of last weekend. No im not referring to making you watch me and my boys bukkake your mom, I am however referring to your friendly neighborhood sex-offenders favorite holiday. The only day of the year I can say I fucked a mouse and didn't actually kill it. This day my friends is Halloween. However resorting back to the original intention of my post is to comment on a thing I saw that very night. An Asian midget going black face. Now do all those things add together to cancel each other out and make this stunt p.c. or is he infact going to hell with the rest of the land of OZ munchkins. Lemme know what you think

Should I Just Keep Your Bra on?

Let's face it, you got a good face, nice ass, some of the things you say are funny, your voice is kinda annoying but not off the charts bad... but bitch you got yourself a pair of Gorilla Tits!

It looks like there's a faucet under your tits, but instead of buyin water balloons you used regular ones.

They look like traffic cones that got left out in the sun and started to melt sideways.

Your nipples don't even fit in my mouth, what the fuck is your baby going to do... he's gunna need a fuckin giraffe neck and a boa constrictor jaw if he wants to survive.

I'm just sayin... it's weird, I feel like alien killer klowns are gunna bust outta your bosoms and eat my face

now i'm not sayin i'm not dtf, i'm just sayin, lets do it doggystyle or blindfold and handcuff me

Something please, i'll work with you, but keep those creepy problem child, bride of chucky twins away from me

I don't need to tittyfuck you I could use each tit as an individual fleshlight... weeeeeeeiiiiird

Vaginas... the New Napkins????

Yes ladies, it is true, I do not wash my hands before I fingerboss you. I'm out at the bars all night, exchanging money, giving high fives to really sleazy people, and probly even fingerbossing some other bitch. Do I think to wash my hands? no.

Don't act like you're some kind of fucking saint either, bitch, I've seen you suck my friends dick, suck my dick, then make out with some kid that sucks; thus mixing two types of baby batter into some poor soul's mouth.

Well I don't feel bad for that kid (cuz I have no conscience) and I don't feel bad for you either when you start growing coral out of your meat sleeve.

I'm all about the environment (obviously not about your pussy's ecosystem) so I'm not about to waste baby wipes, hot wing napkins, or purell, just so you can itch less and thus sleep better at night, get over yourself... you're not that hot... or maybe you are, but the only bitch I care about is Mother Earth, and I've already knife-raped her repeatedly.


THIS IS THE PETRI DISH YEAST CULTURE THAT IS YOUR VAGINA --- (she's bakin a loaf and it's sourdough)