Delightfully Tacky, Yet Extremely Fuckable

In 1986, I was born. As was the timeless and ultimately classy brown owls uniform.

For the sake of this blog we will call the establishment TITS.

So, we're at TITS and I am wondering how is it that one pics up a TITS girl.

I mean, the manager seems easy, but his name is Jim, no homo.

I asked her how old she was, and she said 18, and I said that's legal.

"Her boobs were very mature for her age."

"Her ass was an old soul."

So, if I don't want to sit at TITS and tip bitches all night for no lap dance, I should probably just buy some thighs and breasts. Spread some man ranch on it.

So I decided to spray my high life on her like I just won the world series. This bitch called the Lord himself on his celly just to request a Flyers win. She was so hard up for a good tip.

"Just the tip.
Just for a second,
just to see how it feels."

I mean she had nice nipples. From the back she looked like another woman - a thirty year old that could teach you something. She didn't have goggles, and I suspect that tomorrow her eyes will be swollen as if I just consolidated my antique liquid assets in her face after a red eye flight and too much cocaine induced partying.

Side note: Jo Pah gets a lot of ass for an old man.






Almost as much as Bobby Bowden ( I mean really, he is the slave driver at the number 3 party school - and good Lord they have a lot of cum dumpsters), but not nearly as much as Bobby Knight. Bobby slams bitches on the regular. You have no idea, but you know bitches like assholes.






So as the night and my miller high life starts to dwindle I figure I better clown this bitch before she goes home to her tomatoes soup made from ketchup and hot water, a dirty towel, a lonely bird with its head severed, and some boy friend who is just that a boy with a bank account he didn't build. Surely he has some barb-wire somewhere on his body, hair product and shaved arms, but good Lord, I am man.

So I tell Ms. TITS that she would look good on my dick. Nuff said.

Neff said.

"Blessed is he who cometh in the name of the Lord."

-Newcomer